As a little boy growing up in my hometown on the Kwahu Mountains, I remember vividly how I would have to walk for miles, carrying my farm load; usually firewood and harvested crops on my head with no option to have a rest until I reached that shapeless, huge stone. It had a soothing stream of water by it, with short shrubs growing in it whereas filled with the brown leaves the trees along its bank shed into it. This repeated excruciating experience pinched my heart always. Why didn’t my parents make me carry a load, which will be lighter enough for my journey home?
This occasional overload sometimes made me hear some cracking noises like the chirps of crickets within my skull. That even aside, I wouldn’t have had a problem if there were a rest top at every 100 meters we walked. Notwithstanding, just like any hardship in life, this taught me a lesson I have built my life upon; and that’s the Spirit of WAITING; which is the crown of Self-discipline and Self-Control. It didn’t matter how heavy the load was or how tired and worn-out I was, I had to find some power and energy within me to carry on till I got to the huge stone where I would rest and quench my thirst.
Definitely by now you are thinking about all the labor laws; how my parents were inconsiderate and even how I could have revolted as a child; of course most kids rebelled. But even then, I knew of the fact that my life depended on what I carried. I would feed on some of it and we would sell some for survival. Moreover, I knew deep within that my pain was temporary and just like how I got rest at the huge stone, the God of time will bring a better life along the miles. So I mastered the art and spirit of waiting.
James is the sweetest, finest, spirit-filled gentleman Sally could ever imagine. The boy is suave. If he isn’t at work or home, he is in the house of God. The gift of Lucifer upon his life is undeniable; James can sing. Sally couldn’t hold her cards unto her chest any longer when he came her way. “In days like ours where its rear to find your perfect man, who is absolutely devoted to the things of God? I won’t let my savior pass me by.” She said to herself. There wasn’t any way she was going to waste time embracing an answered prayer. She had fallen like dried coconuts off the tree even before he proposed. James often fantasized about her finessing hips; curves and contours perfected to the glory of God. It seemed done by an architect with a pencil and compass. He suggested playfully a few times, that she should only wear tight straight dresses just an inch above knee level and obviously it was when she wore those dresses that he showered sweet words of praise on her. She took them on lighter notes and as normal compliments. Actually it made her head swell. “Your sweet words are nourishment to my soul” We are all human and a little carnality spices up the relationship. She brushed it off. James “Jireh, the provider” never made Sally lack in anything: even things both her father in heaven and on earth didn’t provide.
Her shout and screams couldn’t out match the music playing in the hall. Her breast popped out of her unbuttoned sleeves like a notification on a phone; she covered it with a few threads of her sleeves that could fill her palms and held them together with all her strength. Then with a swift soft kiss to shut her mouth; “he said I love you”. “Then why are you doing this to me?? She asked with wet eyes. “You invited me here to meet your friends! This wasn’t part of the plan!! You even agreed with me and promised you would wait!!! So why now?? Not you of all people James! Not you!!” Uncontrollable tears streamed out of her childish eyes. “Maybe James had forgotten the statutes of the faith or just like any human, his flesh took over in the spur of the moment,” She thought. Without any shame and remorse James said, “I have told you I love you and I will marry you”. “I have been yearning to have you all this while and now I have you. You engaged in the dirty talks and blushed irresistibly at my soft pats. I know you want this dear.” He tore apart the remaining sleeves; detaching the rest of the buttons. Sally screamed tears only a silent heaven could hear. The enormous force he used to lift her dress cut through the strings of her beads; almost all the precious pebbles rolling over the floor for a hiding place. There it was! The covered cave with the curved hips in bare glare. Fueled by his desires, which were deaf to her cries buttered with fire strokes, he dug a hole into the cave through her pain. His elbows pitched in the flesh of her biceps with his knees breaking her thighbone. She fought back and fought back and fought back and fought back. No angel or human to her rescue. Sweating James. Bloody stained sheets. Tattered panties. Dismantled beads and a broken Sally. She ran out with shame like a rat out of a smoked hole. Unlike Amnon who was drained of the love he had for his stepsister Tamar after he raped her and hated her since, James didn’t have enough and is still professing love to Sally to accept him back.
I have come to understand that love doesn’t take pleasure in pain nor does it draw a fellow into sin. So no matter the parameters of my happiness and desires, once it will bring pain or sorrows to my partner I have to forgo it. My sole commitment to her is to make her happy always. Ultimately If I claim to love someone, then there is no way I should be the architect or the channel through which my partner falls into sin. Her salvation is as important to me as mine. So why demand and force for fornication?? (For the interest of this true story) You should be the one washing her with the word to present her without blemish to the Lord. “A man with self control is greater than one who conquers a whole city” As a man no matter how your flesh fights with your Spirit, you can’t let the desires of your flesh overpower you. It will lead you into sin.
Sexual sin has become rampant in the body of Christ; likewise-sexual abuse. Uncles and family friends that you leave your kids with are raping them and you will never know. Let me not deviate out of the church, which is my focus. Deacons and Elders sexually harass our beloved sisters. Supposed devout Christian “gentlemen” who should know better, force ladies to give in to sex before marriage. Not to mention the Pastors behind the pulpits. Borrowing the words of my senior high biology teacher “If the fresh leaves (believers) are burning, how much more the dry ones (unbelievers)’. I know it’s stressful and strenuous suppressing sexual urges and desires. You question God on why he designed sex to be had only in marriage? Who are you to question God and have your way?! Just like my farm load you have to wait till you get to the huge stone to have your rest. His grace is sufficient. Pray for Strength and the Spirit of self-control. May the God who comforts those who mourn, dry the tears of women who have had their dignity and joy stripped off them. I pray you find pleasure in sex again when the right time comes. “..Let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.” Shalom.